Do what you love

By Stanka Vukelić

Do what you love

This is my story how I finally ended up doing what I love to do.

Most probably, down in me, I knew what I’d love to do, but it got distracted so many times that I lost it somewhere along the way. My parents thought that my ability to draw and paint was not sellable and rather decided to force me into economics.

I did as I was ‘advised to’; at the time, there wasn’t really much of a choice, anyway; somehow you close your mind, and you do what is in front of you.

The problem is that you end up doing things you don’t necessary like, but you still do them, because you have established a feeling of obligation, and after some time, you lose it; this sense of what is right or wrong, stumbling through this jungle with no flashlight.

Even this can be fun for a while, but sooner or later, it gets you, totally unprepared, and you have no idea what to do. So you start doing all kinds of things; in fact, one stupidity after another, but you keep telling yourself: “At least, I’ve learned something.”

Yet, even this starts running short, and you materialize one problem after another until you are on the verge of losing your mind; then you usually know, that the time has come to do something radical, something which has no seat belts, but just this moment at your disposal.

It is a very intimate and freeing experience, when you finally break free from the things you ‘must’ do. And when you do this, you are alone in yourself, and there is no one you can listen to, except you, and if you are lucky, perhaps your partner, or somebody else who truly understands.

However, this was the heavy part, since from there, there is hardly a way back, because, to some extent, you have become an outlaw. Parts of your family are against it; ‘best friends’ have decided that you’ve gone crazy or lost it due to some esoteric stuff and so on.

All this keeps raining on your head until one day most of the naggers are gone, and you are ready to do what you love to do. Whatever that is; but in my case, it was everything that came to my mind; and everything that seemed to be fun, in any way.

This is something like a transition period, when you blow off the dust and rust from your mind, to start from zero, or less. I think I was lucky, because I had a great opportunity to get rid of my old life and job in a pretty convenient way – I sold it; not for much, but for enough to keep me ‘above water’ for a few years, without a job, and especially without any debt.

And when my mind became calmer; I started painting, and painting, and painting, as if I had stopped yesterday, while in fact, it had been 22 years.

Time is an illusion, when you do what you love, it is always there, right with you, your companion, even when you are not paying attention, but IT always does; it is there watching you, all along, waiting for you to wake up and start doing what you were born to do. At least, this is how it feels like; the rest comes naturally.

Of course, there are still millions of doubts – but just sometimes – when your mind starts rambling, apparently for no reason; and you have no choice but to put it on hold and keep doing your thing, because at some point, you stop believing your mind’s frustrations; you are releasing yourself from that slavery, with a growing confidence, that this is the right thing to do.

Important is, not to question everything, but to let it roll freely, no boundaries, just you and your task – to fulfill.

And of course – never look back; it’s a mind made trap to test you – don’t believe it, keep doing your thing, just listen to the fun-side; that’s all.

For now, I have shelved all plans, simply because they are trouble-makers; they always do something different than you do, so it’s better to get rid of them. I make short steps, and I do only what is in front of me, because this is what I can manage to do, easily.

The rest will follow naturally without ME really doing something! I don’t really care what comes next as long as it is in alignment with a good feeling which has to be there all along, a sort of guide towards the next moment; this seems to work for now, so why change it?

With my husband, I have put together a website that is essentially covering everything what we are doing right now. There you can find all of my art work, a growing number of raw food recipes, and many, many original articles related to food and health, spirituality, music, philosophy, poetry, and many other things. It has evolved into a full-blown blog-magazine, and a wonderful playground for both of us.

Want to buy prints from me?

If you like my art work, here you can purchase reproductions of my paintings: Etsy (this is directly from me) or through  FineArtAmerica

Are you an artist?

If you would like to present your art work with your story on our website, please send your material to: contact@organictalks.com

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